Day 15 Round 2

127.5 lbs. With all the happenings of late, I'm not surprised that I am still losing or maintaining my weight. I have cheated with popcorn (not one, but two bags) for two of the last three nights. The other night I forfeited an hCG dinner and drank an entire bottle of wine.

In life, one can be blind-sided by the people we care about and think we know. It is not up to us to judge them for their deeds, but to try and understand what it might feel like to walk in their moccassins. This week my regular rural carrier for whom I've been a substitute (cover days off and vacations) for the past 2+ years decided to check out of this life and move on to the next one. It was a double deal made with her husband. You could say that in their minds it was all about pain and love. Understandably, the situation is very rough for the rest of their family and friends. To say that no one saw this coming is a blatant understatement. Everything was well planned by them, including the distributing of their wills and letters via USPS to their children from previous marriages. I talked to her the night before when she called to give me a head's up that I would likely be working the next day and the day after. Her reasons for the absence were fabrications and I played right into her hand as would have been predictable. No clue, no suspicions.

What unfolded over the last two days has been tragic and difficult to pull off. I've had to step up and fill the shoes of one of the most caring, competent, diligent, knowledgeable and nurturing postal carriers I've ever known. While I miss her presence terribly, I trust in her actions and that God has taken her under His wing. She was an angel among us and now I feel she will be watching over us.

Today it is time to put my diet first again. No more cheating. It's time to shed the rest of this weight. There's so little to go, therefore I should be able to do it without any problems. Focus....

Day 11 Round 2

128 lbs. This time around I really want to cheat!! Yesterday I did have 3 extra grissini sticks and about 1/3 extra fresh apricot. I also took a brisk walk for about 40 minutes. Granted, it wasn't the worst cheat ever and I did still manage to lose 1 lb. I guess after being on phase 4 for so long and managing my weight so well, I feel it's hard not to eat just a little bit more of something that previously would not hurt me. I never thought this would be such a struggle because I was really looking forward to round 2 and taking off the last 10-15 lbs. It seems I have to watch myself more than in the last round. That's a big surprise.

Day 10 Round 2

130 lbs. Saturday I went to dinner and went off course pretty bad. The day went well, but the dinner (expensive) was another story. I had 1 spare rib for an appetizer. Dinner consisted of 2 shrimp, 3 scallops, and a very small lobster. Not bad, if you don't notice how they were all cooked and in what. Dessert, shared by four was coconut ice cream, pineapple upside down cake and drizzles of raspberry and two other sauces I can't remember. 2 glasses of wine were also consumed. With all that, I only gained a half lb. Unfortunately, that makes me think I can cheat more often. I really need to watch these last 10-15 lbs. and stay focused.

Next week I'm working a full schedule, so maybe there won't be time to think about cheating. I just have to get through this week.